Where Are You?

Where Are You?

This article is targeted at everyone who is opportune to read it, I mean you. Where are you?

The only person who could authoritatively ask ”Where are you?” is either your friend, siblings, parents, boss and God. But then you may want to ask ”Why would God ask where am I?”, after all He is called Omniscience- the all knowing God.

There are only two reasons why someone may be seeking to know where you are. It is either the person is not with you OR the person did not find you where he expect you to be.

Whichever the case may be among the two reasons; absenteeism is the only basis for that statement. Unfortunately, many are lacking, unavailable, emotionally, financially, physically, spiritual and mentally. A lot of people are not where they should be, or where they claim to be.

Many husbands are unavailable in their family, unavailable in their relationship and in their responsibilities towards their family, leaving their wife continuously asking the same question ”Where are you?”

I have seen homes where the wife has assumed the leadership role; paying for rent, children school fees, utility bills and virtually everything because of absentee husband.

At the other end, some wives too are emotionally absent in their marriage, partly due to several failures of the head to lead accordingly. Some married women are also physically irregular at home and sometimes absent, leaving their husband and children at the mercy of house-helps or ‘Mama-put’.

Well, you will agree with me that all the aforementioned narratives are a bit better as long as one party is shouldering the responsibilities well. I have seen a worse case scenario where both husband and the wife who are suppose to be responsible parents to their kids are now lacking at home and to their children, who are the one that always suffer for it. The excuse is always ”We have to work.” A situation where a husband and the wife works Monday to Saturday from 6am to 8pm, and on Sunday they are out as early as 8am also, either to the Gym, Church, Viewing Center, Club or to the Spar. They hardly spend 2 hours with the kids. I believe this is one of the 21st century madness; whereby you give birth to children you don’t have time to physically care for, and as a result, exposing them to several abuses from the hired care-givers, ranging from sex abuse, psychological abuse, emotional abuse to neglect.

The last but not the least in the category of absentees are ‘absentee children’. Just like absentee parents; absentee children neglect and refuses to reciprocate the love and care shown them by their mother or father while they were growing up. They easily forget and refuse to consider what their parents went through when they were nurturing them.

This absentee children failed to realize that the primary reason why a parent would take a very good care of his or her children is for future security. So that when they are old and their strength is failing, they can have someone to rely on, but sadly, many children are no where to be found doing this. Many are in the city but have abandoned their parents in the village, probably with a frustrated house-help who is always looking for an opportunity to escape daily responsibilities.

Men, Where Are You?

In every state of chaos, God always call unto the man. There must be something unique about male leadership.

In the book of Genesis chapter 3 verse 9, the bible recorded that the Lord God called to the man, ”Where are you?”

Without sounding religious, it is important for men to know that in this state of global crisis; men must rise up from all backgrounds, and first of all, be the leader their wife and children needs. Then follow suit to defend their community from whatever challenges confronting it. If this can happen; if we have RESPONSIBLE MEN who are truly responsible at home, men who understand their place as being a problem-solver and not problem-creator, then more than half of the global crises is already solved.

The reason why the greatest mental and physical strength lies with men is not for egoistic ventures, rather it is to channel it to solving problems. Unfortunately, many men are lost today, comparing themselves with another and as a result battling with rivalry, vainglory, and competition. This has place an undue pressure on them, such that they always found themselves in a mess.

Let me end this by saying; your allocation can only get to you, if you stay where you are meant to be.

Are you in the US, when you should remain in Nigeria?

Have you toned your skin to black, when actually you are born white?

Have you started your own ministry, when you should be working with another ministry?

Are you running helter-skelter, when really you should stand-still?

Where are you?

Victor Oyefeso

Thursday March 13th, 2014. 00:20GMT